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Many of the things that drive people away from online dating can be headed off at the pass with some preparation.
The first step to overcoming your frustration with online dating is to adjust your mindset and expectations accordingly.
Everything from how they stand to how they talk, who they talk to, how they act around their friends, how they smell, even the pitch and timbre of their voice indicate whether or not we’re likely to have an initial attraction to them that would prompt us to make that all-important first approach.
We’re able to process all of these signals so rapidly that we’re often unaware of it; to our conscious mind, we’re just eliding over the ones who we read as “nope, not interested” while we narrow our focus on the people who do it for us.
This means that you have to consider your market, what you’re looking for and what makes you, specifically, attractive to others.
OKCupid, for example, is structured more heavily towards casual dating and hooking up.
We can get as righteous as we’d like about “getting to know somebody’s soul” or the purity of meeting people without our hangups about looks, but without that physical component, it’s impossible to guarantee that you’re going to be attracted to somebody in person.In the physical world, unless you’re Jack Harkness, flirting with several different people simultaneously is a major faux-pas and likely to leave you going home alone – possibly wearing several drinks.