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02-Jan-2020 13:00

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I read with interest the numerous other articles, books, and blog posts about the "me, me, me generation" (as Joel Stein calls us), our rejection of chivalry, and our hookup culture — which is supposedly the downfall of college dating. I didn't walk away from my conversation with Nate expecting a bouquet of roses to follow. Nate never wrote or called me that night, even after I texted him at 11 p.m. As to why you got weird." But Nate didn't acknowledge his weirdness. But I didn't have the energy to tell Nate that I was sick of his (and many other guys') assumption that women spend their days plotting to pin down a man and that ignoring me wasn't the kindest way to tell me he didn't want to lead me on.

I am sitting in my dorm, having just applied Sally Hansen leopard-print press-on nails and wearing a chiffon dress from Forever 21 that my sister told me "looks really expensive." I am waiting to hear from a nerdy but cute guy I'll call Nate*, whom I know from class. " that millennials are "a generation confused about how to land a boyfriend or girlfriend."Williams is not the only one thinking about millennials and our potentially hopeless futures for finding love.

Between 20, New York University sociologist Paula England, Ph D, conducted an online survey in which she compiled data from more than 20,000 students at 21 colleges and universities throughout the United States.

Her data showed that 61 percent of men hoped a hookup would turn into something more and 68 percent of women hoped for more — almost the same!

But more important, they are known on campus as places where people party on the weekend.

Women (but not non- member men) — and especially freshman girls — can choose to line up outside each house and be deemed worthy of entrance if the members consider them hot enough.

Lisa Wade, Ph D, a professor of sociology at Occidental College who studies gender roles in college dating, explains that we're now seeing a hookup culture in which young people exhibit a preference for behaviors coded .

I'm lured in by these trend pieces and their sexy headlines and consistently let down by their conclusions about my generation's moral depravity, narcissism, and distaste for true love. Instead, I armed myself with a blasé smile and answered, "Just text me to let me know what's up. " Sure, I wanted a plan for when we were supposed to hang out but felt I needed to meet Nate on his level of vagueness. to ask "What's up" (no question mark — that would seem too desperate). When I saw him in class, he glanced away whenever we made eye contact. Instead, he said that he thought I was "really attractive and bright" but he just hadn't been interested in dating me. So to avoid seeming or any of the related stereotypes commonly pegged on women, I followed Nate's immature lead: I walked away to get a beer and dance with my friends. This anecdote sums up a pattern I have experienced, observed, and heard about from almost all my college-age friends.

And when someone does want a relationship, they downplay it.

This leads to awkward, sub-text-laden conversations, of which I've been on both sides."The great irony is that no one seems to enjoy playing the whoever-cares-less-wins game.

At Harvard, these are the eight all-male social groups called final clubs.

Each club owns a beautiful mansion in Harvard Square, and many of them have existed for a century or more.

Men and women are both partaking in Guyland's culture of silence on college campuses, which results in what Wade calls the whoever-cares-less-wins dynamic.



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