Christian dating issues
We say we want a Godly man, but as soon as that good looking man who is not living according to God’s word comes along, suddenly a Godly man is not all that important.We say we want someone who will respect our “No sex before marriage” rule, but as soon as that good looking man who can’t keep his hands to himself comes along, suddenly celibacy is not all that important.Rules and regulations (mostly geared toward women) like, "Do not call or text him," "Never ask a guy out, let him pursue you, let him initiate," "Do not pray together," and "Only go on group dates" are often touted as inviolable and sacrosanct, as if they are dating principles derivable straight ... We lower our standards in an attempt to make them who we want them to be instead of seeing them for who they really are.If you want to truly understand how ridiculous this notion is, Real talk: modesty is great, and sexually-explicit Western culture does provide a challenging climate for men, but let’s not pander to the irresponsible and frankly ridiculous idea that it’s a woman’s responsibility to manage a man’s sex drive. If my experience serves me correctly, however, your memory of that command will probably be inversely proportional to the hotness of your potential date. This idea is primarily motivated by fear of voracious little sex drives running about, and like anything motivated by fear, it jumbles everything into a needless mess.
I’m simply trying to free you from an arbitrary, contradicting checklist that falsely promises to land you “a good Christian guy.” Is someone making burgers, ’cause I’m about to roast a sacred cow. ” What people seem to be forgetting is that you’ll learn 91.342% of everything you ever know during marriage. You’re marrying her because her current decision-making suggests a long-term value for character.I work with Christian college students who are in the throes of dating or of wanting to be dating.Nearly every week during the school year, I am asked questions (mostly by ladies) about the ins-and-outs of the dating process.The same “experts” who tell you not to pursue a man will also help you build a custom-designed cage to trap him in. Never talk about marriage on the first seven dates. A man who truly loves you for who you are will also want the absolute best for you, which means growth. But that’s a lifelong journey you embrace together as a team of trusting, loving partners.
Never sit at home idle, waiting for him to call you. It’s not something you work out in your early twenties, late twenties, thirties, forties, fifties, sixties, seventies, or heavenlies.You give a piece, see how he/she cares for that piece and respects the boundaries you’ve set, and then, once trust has been built, you can give him/her more of your heart. To hear people talk about it, you’d think 1 Peter 5:8 says that is liking a roaring lion, seeking whom it may devour. “Don’t be too forward, or you’ll come across like a desperate flirt.” “You need to let guys know you are interested so they can pursue you.” “You should dress in an attractive manner to get his attention.” “Don’t dress attractively or you’ll provoke lust in him.” Seriously ladies, I don’t know how you put up with it. Dress nicely in a way that accentuates your best features…